I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both of our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.
I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth, I want to.
I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I? I don’t know.